All these comments were the words out of Trav's and my mouth on August 12 when we found out we were going to be parents to another child. Then we quickly realized we had to continue to parent Camden... Holy _____ we will have TWO!!
I'm going to be very candid and honest. I wasn't jumping for glee and sending out streamers and fireworks this time. Although I've always been the wild ass kid, the one who "made" everyone do the bad things... I am a planner. This my friends, was not planned. We live with our parents, in different states for goodness sake! How could this Happen? Well I won't paint a picture or explain, we all took biology.. I used to teach it.. You'd think I'd listen to myself!! :-)
After the crying stopped and Travis gave me his "once a year" hug, I knew it was going to be ok. The excitement set in. I still worry, a lot, but that's normal I think. After I met my sweet angel #2 all my thoughts of why? Went away. I have a baby in my belly who will be Cams best friend, or worst nightmare, a little person who will add awesomeness to our life, and who will give me the opportunity to cherish all the firsts again.
I'm not super religious, but I do think stuff happens for a reason. I believe with every part of my red self that this sweet surprise was given to us for a purpose.
Now that I have a grasp on this pregnancy, I'm looking forward to all it has to offer. I'm done beating myself up over thinking those weird thoughts in the beginning. I think they are healthy, because as all us parents know..it's definitely not rainbows and unicorns.. Well ever.
The not yet glowing mom-
Megs
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Letting it all Hang out..PG 13.
Well hello my Internet "spill your beans" spot, I have missed you. I share my life with everyone and I am pretty open about my stuff. Lately, I have been very secretive and I feel toxic. I am letting a little out each day, and its helping, but I still have some things to come clean about. Those close to me know all my deep dark secrets, but many don't, and never will know ALL my dark secrets.
I think about writing here often. I have all these great thoughts on my way to work and I think to myself, just make time to sit down and write about your life, that way you will remember how you felt at that second. RIIIIGGGHHHT... and like I have time for that. I barely get to have a good pee by myself.
I am feeling a lot of randomness tonight, so this post may not make any sense, as many aspects of my life seems to follow this exact trend.
I was born and raised in the same town that my parents met. I graduated from the same high school that my parents did, and with the same group of friends I went to grade school with. Needless to say, I bleed this town. well, I bled this town.
I went away to school and met Travis, got married, you know the story. Anyways, Travis relocated to my "area" because that was how it was. He hasn't lived back in Indy since 1943, and we were making our own spot close to my old spot.
This blog is based around the game: ONE WORD.. GO.
So lets focus on an aspect of this phrase at a time: ONE WORD..... TRUST.
Travis and I went through a time in our relationship when we both were questioning what our life would end up like, and if we would work together, etc. etc. I remember weighing the pros and cons and the fact that I could trust him with my life,and with my future kids life resonated with me. FAST FORWARD 9 years, and that word TRUST comes back to get my brain-a-stirring.
Last Spring, Travis asked me to look deep into my heart and to trust him with a BIG change. He approached me with the fact that he didn't like his job and that there needed to be a change in order for us to be where we wanted to be. So Travis and I decided to move back to his home, Indy to make a go of it with his family business. After crying a lot and being super selfish, I realized that there comes a point in your life when reality takes precedence over your fairytale.
Not telling anyone but our families, and super close friends, we put our house up for sale, sold it in July (after only being on the market 12 weeks) and moved out of Waterloo. I remember the day I left Waterloo, I sat in the room that we brought Camden home to, and cried. I walked into the bathroom that I painted forty times and cried again.. DAMMIT! WHY DID I WASTE MY TIME WITH THE LAST PAINT JOB! I walked to my mailbox and looked up at our front porch, that we built, and cried again. It literally was the hardest thing, walking away from that house. The weird thing was, I wasn't even in love with that house. I was in love with the memories. Trav hugged me and assured me that those memories will always be with us, and that we will have many more memories in our new place that we choose.
After we left Waterloo, we drove to O'Fallon.
O'Fallon will be my home until December. That's right kids, I live with my parents, my senior in high school, brother and my baby. Life is NUTS.
Travis lives with his parents, and works with his dad at their family business. I get to see husband on the weekends, ONLY. I take back a previous statement, THIS is the hardest thing. Every Sunday I get that sad feeling, and it lingers until about Tuesday, and then I start to get excited again about him coming to visit, or us going there to see our love.
ONE WORD... GO......
Go with it. That's all we can do. I am so excited for my husband and for us, all that lies ahead. The possibilities are endless.
am I scared? you bet your tuchus I am.
In December I get my family back together, and that is worth more to me than anything. However, its a double edged sword. We get a clean slate at a new opportunity, but I also leave my family for the first time in 27 years, my friends since FOREVER, and the job that I absolutely love. It will be bittersweet.
Needless to say, I have been holding in our family secret, and boy does it feel good to write about that. Thanks blogger for letting me write in my diary tonight. Momma needed it. To wrap up:
We are moving to Indy! Its been real STL.
and NO..
I will never answer to HOOSIER. (us Illinois people know what HOOSIER really means).
Peace, Love and Sleeping in the bedroom next to your parents..........awesome.
I think about writing here often. I have all these great thoughts on my way to work and I think to myself, just make time to sit down and write about your life, that way you will remember how you felt at that second. RIIIIGGGHHHT... and like I have time for that. I barely get to have a good pee by myself.
I am feeling a lot of randomness tonight, so this post may not make any sense, as many aspects of my life seems to follow this exact trend.
I was born and raised in the same town that my parents met. I graduated from the same high school that my parents did, and with the same group of friends I went to grade school with. Needless to say, I bleed this town. well, I bled this town.
I went away to school and met Travis, got married, you know the story. Anyways, Travis relocated to my "area" because that was how it was. He hasn't lived back in Indy since 1943, and we were making our own spot close to my old spot.
This blog is based around the game: ONE WORD.. GO.
So lets focus on an aspect of this phrase at a time: ONE WORD..... TRUST.
Travis and I went through a time in our relationship when we both were questioning what our life would end up like, and if we would work together, etc. etc. I remember weighing the pros and cons and the fact that I could trust him with my life,and with my future kids life resonated with me. FAST FORWARD 9 years, and that word TRUST comes back to get my brain-a-stirring.
Last Spring, Travis asked me to look deep into my heart and to trust him with a BIG change. He approached me with the fact that he didn't like his job and that there needed to be a change in order for us to be where we wanted to be. So Travis and I decided to move back to his home, Indy to make a go of it with his family business. After crying a lot and being super selfish, I realized that there comes a point in your life when reality takes precedence over your fairytale.
Not telling anyone but our families, and super close friends, we put our house up for sale, sold it in July (after only being on the market 12 weeks) and moved out of Waterloo. I remember the day I left Waterloo, I sat in the room that we brought Camden home to, and cried. I walked into the bathroom that I painted forty times and cried again.. DAMMIT! WHY DID I WASTE MY TIME WITH THE LAST PAINT JOB! I walked to my mailbox and looked up at our front porch, that we built, and cried again. It literally was the hardest thing, walking away from that house. The weird thing was, I wasn't even in love with that house. I was in love with the memories. Trav hugged me and assured me that those memories will always be with us, and that we will have many more memories in our new place that we choose.
After we left Waterloo, we drove to O'Fallon.
O'Fallon will be my home until December. That's right kids, I live with my parents, my senior in high school, brother and my baby. Life is NUTS.
Travis lives with his parents, and works with his dad at their family business. I get to see husband on the weekends, ONLY. I take back a previous statement, THIS is the hardest thing. Every Sunday I get that sad feeling, and it lingers until about Tuesday, and then I start to get excited again about him coming to visit, or us going there to see our love.
ONE WORD... GO......
Go with it. That's all we can do. I am so excited for my husband and for us, all that lies ahead. The possibilities are endless.
am I scared? you bet your tuchus I am.
In December I get my family back together, and that is worth more to me than anything. However, its a double edged sword. We get a clean slate at a new opportunity, but I also leave my family for the first time in 27 years, my friends since FOREVER, and the job that I absolutely love. It will be bittersweet.
Needless to say, I have been holding in our family secret, and boy does it feel good to write about that. Thanks blogger for letting me write in my diary tonight. Momma needed it. To wrap up:
We are moving to Indy! Its been real STL.
and NO..
I will never answer to HOOSIER. (us Illinois people know what HOOSIER really means).
Peace, Love and Sleeping in the bedroom next to your parents..........awesome.
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