Baby 101

Happy December Friends! I cannot believe that Thanksgiving has come and gone and now we are gearing up for Christmas. Holy Jingle Bells! This Holiday season has been quite the experience. Right before Thanksgiving, the entire family got the flu in some form. It was miserable. However, we made it to Indiana to visit Trav's family and we were healed!

See, look how happy we are.. or more like, really tired.

OK, so the purpose of this post is to talk about what I have learned thus far as a mommy. Trust me, I am not trying to teach ANYONE how to be a momma-llama, but I like to share experiences. Sharing experiences with others makes me seem normal, because every mom I talk to has done something of the sorts. Amen to you!

1. Naps make me as happy as dangley earrings did in 3rd grade.

Naps make it possible for me to do important things, like write this post, watch my shows on Bravo and read magazines. Sometimes, I do less important things like laundry, cleaning, and paying bills. Nevertheless, feeling the weight of a sleeping baby in my arms is joyous. Sometimes I get so excited I want to scream, but that defeats the purpose. If I may be honest, when he wakes in the middle of his nap, and I am in sight.. I hide. I do this to avoid eye contact in hopes that he falls back to sleep. Basically naps mean that I get stuff done. enough said.

2. Babies are little, but they are damn strong. I knew while he was in my belly that he was so strong because of his kicks, but on the outside. WOW. I learned how strong he was when he started to hold onto things and bang me in the head with them. If I act goofy now, its because I have brain damage from being struck repeatedly by keys and teethers (frozen). Also, giving a baby medicine is NO JOKE.

3. Dogs are mans best friend. Camden loves Ollie. I think he loves him more than Trav and I. The thing that I am learning is to be OK with the licking. Its gross, but I survived 3 dogs licking me non stop, Travis did too, and so will Camden. The only thing that annoys me about this whole baby dog thing is that Ollie tries to share the playtime blanket, and then my baby smells of dog. ewe. Not gonna lie.. if I wouldn't be turned into DCFS I would probably buy Ollie a saddle and Camden a helmet... and we would have pony rides.

4. A baby's smile cures anything. I will do anything to make sure Camden smiles. I don't care where I am or who is around. I think mother's lose their dignity on a daily basis trying to get their baby to be happy. I have also witnessed my super serious somber  husband do ridiculous things... IN PUBLIC to make Cam happy. This man usually doesn't speak outside of the house.. so that just proves that baby smiles are golden. On the other hand, a sad/unhappy baby can ruin anything. I think babies are born with bipolar disorder and then as they grow they get rid of it. Weird .. I know.. but I think its a fact.

5.  Caffeine is now a food group. I'm talking, major amounts people. It's necessary for any sort of "nice" to come out of my being. My child sleeps through the night and has for months.. yes.. hate me and send me squinty eyes and death stares.. and I still need caffeine. Its because a parents brain never really turns off when you are within a mile radius of your child. Including sleepy time. People who have colicky babies, you should receive a) infinite amounts of money b) a baby nurse for life or c) diamonds. That's my 2 cents.

6. I learned that after having a baby, your body just isn't quite right. You can be smaller weight wise than you were before you had a baby (NOT MY CASE) and schtuff still isn't the same. Celebrities are immortal and aren't real.. because there is NO way real people can be a in a Victoria's Secret fashion show 5 seconds after having a baby.  Like I have said before, Mother nature.. your a mean mean broad. Thank goodness for spanx and padded bras.. oh and make-up and volumizing hair spray and perfume.

7. You will never have money again. 4 years ago, that would have made me so sad. But I am OK with this notion, because we have Camden.  Luckily, baby's will play with trash and they will be happy. SCORE!

8. There is a mom code. When you are out with your baby and its unhappy, and another mom sees this, they give you the look of "god bless, I totally get it". Everyone in the baby section looks super tired and frantic too, if someone looks put together and spry.. chances are, they are buying a gift. One thing that I haven't learned yet, is why other moms judge people just like them. Meaning, why when you are talking about your children, does "that" mom say.. "OHHHHH... Really???" totally implying, WHAT!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DO THAT.. YOU SUCK, I'M BETTER!!!!". I really don't get why they do that. We are all new moms, or better yet, just moms. No one really knows what the hell they are doing. Just for that simple fact, there should be a rule that you can smack someone who says something like that. If I ever write the MOM RULE BOOK that will be rule #2 ... Don't judge other moms, because they are already nervous about EVERYTHING they do. You will only make them feel worse, and for that, you should  be ashamed of yourself! This rule will be followed by rule #1 hold, hug and kiss your child as much as you can!

9. As soon as that baby is laid on your chest after birth, you instantly go into Momma Bear Mode. You will do ANYTHING to keep that baby safe. I am learning that I am not so passive as I used to be. I don't know how to explain this, I am just different and more aggressive. Not like punching aggressive, but I say what I need to.

10. Last but certainly not least. I have learned that marriage is sweeter than ever. The best thing about being a mommy is watching daddy and baby play. I don't know how I would do this with out Travis by my side, helping me make decisions and such. Its also great to have him to talk to about stupid mom/dad things... you know like.. OH MY GOD look at how big this poop is. Or Travis, I think he is really sick.. what do we do. I have talked to other moms and they say the same thing.. After you have your baby, its amazing how in love you fall with your husband. It takes it to a whole new level. I have also learned that Baby and Daddy have a special "MAN" bond that I will never understand... Travis gets home from work and instantly.. Camden lights up and they begin doing their man things. It makes me so happy inside I cannot describe.

well, there you have it, and there I have it to remember. The 10 things that I have learned the past 4 months. For knowing nothing, this little guy sure does teach me a lot. I hope that other mommy friends appreciate all that their babies have to teach. It truly is a blessing to learn from these crazy, slobbering little people.

I smell a bad diaper.. Happy Weekend!